It was a rare privilege these days to attend the 50th wedding anniversary of some family friends hosted at a church they had spent their entire life attending. Prior to the event my wife and I had just celebrated a few days ago our own anniversary of 26 years. My parents were there and next year they will celebrate their own 50th anniversary. Growing up I had two sets of grandparents who both went past the 50 year marriage mark which didn’t seem unusual back then. In the middle of the celebration came the news through social media that Michael Sam had been drafted in the 7th round by the St Louis Rams—which was significant because he is the first openly gay player to enter the NFL. Talk about locker room tension, or even on the field concern of being tackled by the guy who will unquestionably struggle to keep his sexuality in check around naked men every day. The kind of idiots who think that gay athletes can be paired together without circumstance are the same fools who can’t fathom being married for 50 years to a member of the opposite sex, raising a family and falling in rhythm with that person in a lifelong dance that builds good people as byproducts to the relationship.
A long time friend of mine gave a nice speech to the crowd amassed in the bowels of the Grace Baptist Church in Middletown about how important his parents had been to he and his sister over all those years. It wasn’t difficult for him to conger up many good memories of all the years his parents had been there for him like a rock to depend on. As I listened I knew my own children and now grand children had similar thoughts which would become that much more pronounced when my wife and I hit our own 50 year mark. That seems like a long time ago, but we realized during the speech that all these 50 year marriages had essentially all been present at our own wedding and they were at the stage then that we are now. I remember thinking at the end of the 1980s when divorce was becoming rampant and easy by lawyers looking to make money off other people’s misery that many then thought 25 to 30 years of marriage was impossible, yet many were present at our own wedding at the Becket Ridge Country Club. That in itself was sadly unusual.
Long marriages are not about sexuality. They are about teamwork, commitment, determination, tenacity, love, and a willingness to walk through the fires of life and spit out the flames one by one at whatever cost. No marriage over such a long time goes without pitfalls because life has a way of issuing out detours to such journeys without any compassion to our sensitivities. Long time couples find a way to work through things and come out on the other end and their families are stronger for it.
The news of the new openly gay NFL player is a judgment based on a person’s sexuality only. It is a progressive desire to destroy all resemblance of traditional family values and place before the world the progressive notion of an athlete that is gay as though such a thing could be normal. Regardless of how one believes another might become gay, the fact that Michael Sam is will without question cause difficulties in the lives of his teammates.
Being married for a long time I can declare with safety that if I were playing football and the cheerleaders had to shower in the same location as my team mates, my wife would not be OK with that. The reason is because sexuality needs to be focused and conducted in the bedroom of our home in order for her to manage all the other tasks of our family. Having nakedness and sexual temptation outside of our marriage would then weaken all the important tasks in our relationship, such as picking out new trees for our yard, keeping track of events in the extended family, needs that the children might have and so on. Seeing the naked bodies of many women even if the occurrences did not lead to sex would be distracting to our relationship. It introduces elements that would pull the context of our marriage maneuvers into the primal realm which is not sustaining to families at large. It’s not a matter of trust so much as sacrament. If every other young woman prancing around gets a nice view of the tripod and can go home to satisfy themselves to its memory—what sacrament is there for my wife who is then supposed to worship it as a phallic beast meant only for her appeasement. At football games she would know that all the little girls had the same knowledge of it as she. They may not handle it but the vision of it is there in their minds for their enjoyment.
NFL player wives already have to accept that their husbands are likely cheating on them while on the road for away games. That is bad enough. But now they have to worry that Michael Sam will be doing more than playing ball on a football field and even if it isn’t beyond just looking—the act will be a sexual one. For a man who likes to be under other men, nobody can legitimately ponder that for a gay male—being on the bottom of a football pile is not a fantasy that he will carry with him to his private acts. For each man who adds a bit of sweat and odor to the fantasies of Michael Sam, it is sexual essence robbed from the wives of the players who are left with almost nothing sacred for their own bedroom. Part of the appeal of a married couple is that their sexuality is committed to each other—not the world at large.
I do not like it when my wife goes to a doctor. Her nakedness belongs to me. Now, in the scheme of the human body we are all just clumps of flesh and once the soul is removed, the body decays away into dirt. Humans bring value to such nakedness through their relationships. If every other man out there has seen the naked body of a wife, then there is less sacred appeal in the bedroom—and anybody who has been married for a long time knows the need for such things. Sure you get used to seeing each other but there is still purity in knowing that every neighbor up and down the street has not seen her which makes her treasures a gift of the relationship. Without such enticements, fighting through the really hard stuff is not very appealing—and people usually give up. This is also why being married to a stripper will bring unusual tension to a relationship. It might be fun while she is young and attractive, but down the road when her old customers are lonely and looking her up online after she’s popped out a couple of kids—her naked body will be on their mind. They don’t want to talk—but to remember.
To people who think marriage is a mystery and really have no clue to how relationships work, they are cheering for the progressive step forward society has taken as the St. Louis Rams drafted Michael Sam. They believe that putting a gay man in a locker-room with other guys will actually work but it won’t, mark my words. The two things are not biologically, or intellectually compatible and the tension of sexual premise will be distracting to the organization in a very negative way. Progressives are fine with the conflict, because they are out to change the essence of how human beings conduct relationships. They are interested in the social impact of changing behavior—especially in marriage.
An old friend sat at my table at this anniversary dinner—one I hadn’t seen in about 20 years. We picked up our conversation upon the last sentences we had uttered two decades ago only he filled me in on the three marriages he had over that duration. Such things are normal these days. Having children with one wife then children with a second and third and trying to see all those kids who are essentially being raised by other men who do not share the same kind of values as the original father is simply destroying children—and these days it is normal behavior. Nobody thinks twice about hearing his story—but when people find out that my wife and I have been married for a quarter century they almost act like they stumbled into a leprosy village. Yet everyone yearns for the 50 year anniversary. I doubt there is a woman alive who goes to her wedding day not hoping to someday celebrate 50 years of marriage to her husband. Yet increasingly, such thoughts are a fleeting fantasy.
The progressives have destroyed the lives of many millions of people by teaching them the wrong values; this latest stunt involving Michael Sam is just the most recent. Unisex bathrooms, easy pornography, and cheapened sexuality mixing gender roles attacking the family unit of tradition aggressively have destroyed our modern culture and left the children to be raised essentially by government schools. Behind every marriage these days is a parade of parasitic lawyers chasing after the couple like hyenas waiting for one of them to stumble so that legal action against the other can take place and the state can take control of the children. What my friend was thanking his parents for at the anniversary dinner was for giving him a sense of tradition and value as the trend has moved toward thinking that the Michael Sam draft is fashionable. Anybody coming from such long-term marriages whether it is my friend, me, or my children are lucky and we know it. But it will be up to us to protect such opportunities in the future as the trend is against it. Yet it shouldn’t be.